Man, I feel like a woman.....

This is going to sound crazy, but ladies, have you ever praised God for your monthly gift? I have found that after having 3 kids in 3 years, I praise God all week long! I know that probably sounds insensitive to the ones out there who desperately want kids and aren't able to conceive, and I'm sorry for that.  For the rest of you, it's probably TMI.  Deal with it.   I, myself, have always thought of 4 and 6 as being the perfect numbers, and have always wanted a big family. However, after these 3 years of just trying to keep everyone fed, diapered, and happy, I'm ok with just having 3. :-D I am not ready to have any more right now, and though I'm not ready to say, "I'm done, let's go make it official" I think I would be ok if God did not want me to have any more.  Don't misunderstand me, I would also be ok if God DID want me to have more.  I would just like to be able to wait another year or two. :-D
Sometimes my husband or I will get asked the question, "So, how many kids do you have?", or my personal favorite, "Are you done yet?".  Oftentimes, our response to the first question will be that we have 3 beautiful kids.  They usually come back with, "Wow, three?  You know how to fix that don't you?".  Of course, I must not forget the number one response, "Wow, you've been busy!".  It just amazes me how brash people can be.  Is it really so odd that I should trust God with the number of children I have??  I have found too many people who are very quick to point their fingers, and call me irresponsible for having 3 children, and a small budget.  I have found even more people who think I'm crazy for wanting to be a stay at home mom; like I enjoy being broke.  What is even more astonishing than all of this, is the fact that these people think that my personal life is ANY of their business.  I will always welcome encouragement, but unless I ask, please keep your ignorant negativity to yourself.
Before I close, let me take a moment to thank the very few of you, who have encouraged me, and lifted me up in God's Word.  The friends who have not judged me, but who stood by me.  I will always have time for friends like that! 

Breath of fresh air

I think I need to re-evaluate here. I was out with a couple friends today, one of whom has such an energetic personality that it really made me think about my attitude lately. I feel like I have been in this huge rut for a few months now, I've been totally self-centered, and just feel like a schmuck. The problem for me is not necessarily wanting more material things, or needing to be the life of the party, my problem is just focusing too much on ME. I don't really know how to explain it. I think I just compare myself to others, and find that I always come up short, and then it's almost like I get angry at that person for pointing that out to me. Is that crazy?? I have 3 beautiful children, a husband who loves more than anyone else ever has, and anything else that I would ever NEED. I guess I've just had so many people put me down over the years, that I've begun to believe that I really am a piece of shit. I really need to work on that, I need to be around people who build me up. I fear there's nothing left for people to tear down. And why do I even care what people think about me, you might ask. I couldn't answer that one, I can say, "Who cares?" all day, but deep down I'll still care. I guess it's just all part of being a relatively new mom, wife, and only 23. :-D So, I'm just going to focus on the interests, and people that make me happy, and hopefully find a church family soon that I can connect with. Until then, I'll keep smiling!!!