Breath of fresh air

I think I need to re-evaluate here. I was out with a couple friends today, one of whom has such an energetic personality that it really made me think about my attitude lately. I feel like I have been in this huge rut for a few months now, I've been totally self-centered, and just feel like a schmuck. The problem for me is not necessarily wanting more material things, or needing to be the life of the party, my problem is just focusing too much on ME. I don't really know how to explain it. I think I just compare myself to others, and find that I always come up short, and then it's almost like I get angry at that person for pointing that out to me. Is that crazy?? I have 3 beautiful children, a husband who loves more than anyone else ever has, and anything else that I would ever NEED. I guess I've just had so many people put me down over the years, that I've begun to believe that I really am a piece of shit. I really need to work on that, I need to be around people who build me up. I fear there's nothing left for people to tear down. And why do I even care what people think about me, you might ask. I couldn't answer that one, I can say, "Who cares?" all day, but deep down I'll still care. I guess it's just all part of being a relatively new mom, wife, and only 23. :-D So, I'm just going to focus on the interests, and people that make me happy, and hopefully find a church family soon that I can connect with. Until then, I'll keep smiling!!!