Left out in the rain? Not really.

Why is it that we feel sometimes as though we have been left out in the rain, hung out to dry, and just simply forgotten about?  Why is it at times God seems so far away?  Is He really?? Does he leave us, or forget about us? I think we all know the answer to that question.  I think what really happens is that we forget about Him.  I do not think, however, that's it's just a simple case of forgetfulness.  I think that it is more likely to be that we forget about His Omnipresence.  I know that for myself, I tend to me a bit of a control freak, I come by it naturally mind you, but I like feeling that I am in control of my life.  I like to think that I make my own choices, and that my life has evolved into the wonderful way it flows now because of ME.  When I really look hard at my life though, I can see that all the puzzle peices that have fit together so wonderfully were placed by God, not by me.  I wonder sometimes about why we cannot seem to find a good church to become a part of, why we work so hard for so little financially, and a thousand other questions.  I feel at times as though God picked us up, dropped us in Jacksonville, Florida, and went away to take care of more pressing matters. 
    Now, just recently, my wonderful hubby gave me the perfect little gift for my birthday.  It's is a called, "A Woman's Walk with God: Growing in the Fruit of the Spirit" by Elizabeth George.  In her book she says, "You and I can enjoy a closer walk with God and bear much fruit as we surrender our lives to him."  Now, if you look up the word surrender in the dictionary, it says that to surrender is "to give up completely or agree to forego especially in favor of another", "to give up oneself into the power of another".  I also found in John 15:4,11 "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me."  "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."  So apparently, God wants us to give ourselves over to Him completely; to abide in him.  He tells us that we cannot bear fruit unless we abide in Him.  Elizabeth George explains that, "Such 'abiding' has been defined as 'continued fellowship with the Lord', 'dwelling in Hid fellowship and being submissive to His will', and keeping 'constant with Jesus...a constant contact."  Constant contact.....I suppose that means that I have to 'forget' about me being in control, because if I am abiding in Him, and surrendering myself to Him, then I am giving up control over my own life to Him.  In verse 11 He says, "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."  Amazingly, he wants us to obey this command not only for His glorification but also so that we may have joy!  He's not just saying, "I want you to be happy", he says that we He wants our joy to be FULL!  I realized as I studied this how frequently we are not only lacking full enjoyment in Him, but we are downright miserable!  Can you image being full of joy?
   So, to sum up my devotional experience this morning I realized two things; 1) That when I feel left out in the rain, it is because I have struggled with God to take the reins, and He temporarily allowed me to have them so that I might see where that path leads, in short; unpleasant places.  2) That while following the command to "abide" in Him, I am to be full of joy.  The Christian life is not to be a constant drudgery of strict adherence to 'outdated' rules, but a complete surrendering of oneself to God, and a full enjoyment of Him. 
    It will not be easy, but you know what they say, practice makes perfect! Enjoy your day!

The End of a Long Day

After writing about my very long day, I wanted to share how it ended.  Some days just keep going on, and on, and you feel like you're living the "Never Ending Story", but this day took a surprising, and welcoming twist. 
So, after my previously mentioned "day out" I brought the kids home and scrounged up some dinner.  I never realized until now how unappealing that word is when used in reference to food....scrounged....hmm.  Anyway, they ate dutifully and I got them ready for bed.  Now usually, Brandonn doesn't get home from school until around 10:30 pm, but on this night, he called me at 7 to announce that he was picking up stuff from the store and would be home shortly.  I screached, and jumped up and down, and threw a tantrum of a different color.  I love going through the whole bedtime routine with him; reading stories to the kids, singing bedtime songs, praying together, covering them up, and kissing them goodnight.  There's nothing like it.  So after he came home we put the two younger ones to bed (they share a room), and took our oldest into his room to put him to bed, and then continued with our evening.  Our oldest little guy has just recently moved to a toddler bed, and we have trouble keeping him in it, and out of the toys, blinds, light switch, etc.  So, periodically, we have to go back in and lay him down again.  I knew he wasn't very tired yet, so we allowed him to play quietly in his room for about an hour, at which point the banging on the walls had begun and must to be stopped.  As I walked in, I noticed the handle to his little vacuum was on the floor instead of being attatched to the toy.  I scolded him gently for "breaking" his vacuum, and told him he must be careful with his toys.  He looked up at me and so innocently exclaimed, "I didn't breaked it.  I just took it off.  I NEVER breaked it!".  He said this with so much conviction of innocence that Brandonn and I had no choice but to laugh.  It's things that like that, that turn a bad day into a great one.  That's what made me want to be a parent, and now that I am one, it's what keeps me sane through the rough days we all experience.  Dory comes to mind occasionally with her, "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, what do we do we swim, swim, swim, ha, ha, ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa!" attitude. :-D

The Four Hour Errand

Well, today has been quite the day, let me tell you!  It started out like any other day, get up, get dressed, make breakfast, get kids up, dress kids, feed kids, change diapers, wash hands, etc., etc., etc.  At about 9:15 my hubby calls and asks if I could please bring back the movie we borrowed from his co-worker; he forgot it this morning. I decided that since we hadn't been out of the house in a few days that I would get an early start and drive around a few farms that I know of by hubby's workplace.  We looked at cows, and pastures, and pretty little farmhouses, and wound up at hubby's work right on time at 1:30pm.  While he sat with us on his break, he encouraged me to just go for a drive.  The hurricane headed for NC (be safe!) has created some lovely swells for Jacksonville beaches.  So, he suggested we pick up lunch on the way, head out to the beach, park and take some pictures (have I mentioned my current obsession with photography?).  I thought about it for a few minutes, and decided just to do it!  After all, my kids need fresh air as much as I do.  So, we left hubby, I got gas (or should I say fuel for the car), picked up some McDonald's, and realized my camera was at home.  Luckily we live 2 minutes from McDonald's, and while I was getting my camera I got their sippy's and a bottle for Lilly.  I called Brandonn and asked if there was any way he could get off work early and come with us (he's been working alot of overtime lately).  He said that he would ask, and call me back to let me know.  Now cell phones are not allowed at work but he can usually sneak off to the bathroom and call me really quick if it's important.  So, 2 o'clock came and went, no call.  Then 3 came and went, meanwhile I am headed to the beach, and am passing the exit for his workplace when I remembered the lady at McDonald's forgot to give me my ice water for sippy cups, and Lilly's bottle.  Ugh.  I enter "Fast Food" into the Garmin to see what's close by, and I find a Dairy Queen.  I take the next exit and drive all the way down the road, but I don't see a Dairy Queen.  At this point, the Garmin is telling me to turn around and go the other way.  I do.  Lo, and behold, all the way down the road in other direction, is the Dairy Queen.  However, luck was not on my side this time.  The Dairy Queen was attatched to the gas station, and had no drive-thru window.  I know it sounds petty of me to say that I threw a small tantrum and drove past it, but you try getting 3 babies/toddlers out of a car and into a store, pay for a drink, carry said drink out of store, hold on to your kids, AND make it back to the car -- all by yourself.  If you can do that without throwing a tantrum, then we defintely need to meet.  Or you're cheating. haha.  Back to the story, we were still close enough to home that I decided to drive back and get fill their sippy's and bottle, and try again.  It's 3:30 by this time, and I'm just realizing that the last time I changed diapers was just before we left (the first time) which was at 12:45, and they probably needed to be changed again.  I unbuckled seat belts, carried everyone in, changed diapers, filled sippy cups, made a bottle, and got everyone strapped back in when hubby pulled up.  We talked for a minute and realized our miscommunication.  Apparently, he said that he would try to call me, and I was to go on by myself if I didn't hear from him.  But what I heard, was that I was to go get my camera and food, and he would call me by the time I was finished doing that.  Anyway, he was due in class at 5pm, and didn't have time to go with us, so we said goodbye and pulled out.  Now, keep in mind that none of them have had naps, so everyone is whiny, and cranky.  My very large ninivan has never seemed so small to me as it did today.  I became claustrophobic.  I broke into a cold sweat.  No, I'm kidding......well......anyway.....  We drove out to the beach, pulled up to the park entrance, and were met with a kind old man who politely asked for $3.00 to get into the park.  I opened up my wallet.  As I stared into the abyss, I remembered using cash to pay for the McDonald's that I had just bought so that we could park at the beach and take pictures!  I apologized to the old man, turned around, and threw a little larger tantrum.  We arrived home at 5:20pm.
What started out as a simple errand to return a movie, turned into a 4 hour and 35 minute trip.
I am staying home tomorrow-"if God is willing and da creek don't rise!"